Tuesday, 10 December 2013

shut down, rewind.

 

Monday, 9 December 2013

x

i am 25 years old and i am still trying to find the courage to follow my deepest desire.
what does that even mean?
leave everything else and live off someone else?
i have no funds, no job, no real plan.

life is tough, even with a university degree.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Friday, 14 September 2012

Reminiscing

Even though my first year of uni was quite a bad experience, I still get flashbacks from it very often and somehow feel happily nostalgic over the memories. I wish I could go back three years and tell myself to document everyday and every emotion in pictures and in writing. I wish I could go back 10 years and tell myself that to be honest. It would be interesting to remember all those small details of your life that doesn't seem very important at the time, but that would make so much sense right now.

I sometimes want to start a new university course at some other uni, just to re-live the whole experience, but I know that it's never going to be the same. But sometimes I wish I would've done things differently those first few months of living in England. I think my situation would've been very different then.

Don't get me wrong though, I am very happy with my life as it is now (but I still have dreams and ambitions to do other things of course - don't worry, I'm not going to stay in the same place forever!), but I'm just curious as the rest of us about what could have been.

I have spent this week trying to figure out what it is that I want to do for my final projects. I think I have subconsciously saved my full potential for this last year, as I want these projects to be as great and compelling as it ever could be. And I think I have my final ideas sorted. I always come up with ideas and I start working on them; but then I feel self-conscious about them and start doing something else instead. And that never works out. So this time I've told myself to believe in my projects (because they are GOOD enough) and just stick with them. Not doubt my ability to create an awesome project and don't listen to the tutors if they tell me that I need to do something I don't want to do.
I think that's the winning equation.

And that's that. I'm going to get ready for the gym now and later have a nice bowling-date with my man.

Happy Friday everyone! xxx

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

The Autumn air

It's a crisp and cold morning here in Devon. The sun has just broken through the grey clouds and the seagulls have woken up. It's not long now before all the leafs will fall from their place and we will have to warm up with ginger, warm socks and scarves <3

I'm relaxed with a cup of coffee and a scented candle in front of the computer screen, reading about partial analogies and the experimental individual. My dissertation is far from ready but I'm finally starting to feel that I'm getting somewhere.

I feel unusually happy and content today. I'm not having nightmares as much and I don't feel anxious or nervous. I know that it might come back with the darkness, but for now I'm going to enjoy this peaceful state of mind.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Monday, 10 September 2012

10/09/2012

I was going to rant about selfish and horrible "friends" that don't even deserve to be called friends anymore, but decided not to. The reason for that is that there are so many other beautiful people in my life that deserves all my energy.

It's harder to blog about love without sounding cheesy and pretentious I find, but I guess that's just because people are more interested in reading about drama and love to smile about other people's misfortunes. 

But I don't really care. I love the few REAL friends I have, and I should really get better at telling them how lucky I am to have them. And my amazing boyfriend who always tries his best to make me smile on all the days I feel horrible and angry, and my family who's always trying to support me in any way they can.

This might be a very generic "I love you -post" and not very interesting to read, but it needs to be here. 

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Wedding party

Here's a few photos from last night's wedding party!

Amazing location, luxury loos (I'm not even joking, the toilets were HIGH CLASS), nice food and lots of love in the air :)

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Getting ready for tonight!

I put my new eye mask from The Body Shop in the freezer for 10 minutes and had it on for 10 minutes to get the swelling down - worked like a charm! :)

Now I'm off to the shower for some well-needed beauty treatments before heading off to a wedding party with Thomas.

Remember that you can vote for me by clicking this link http://sabinahannila2.see.me/atm2012#.UEn-MJiZN5o.tumblr until the end of October :)

Have a wonderful Saturday everyone!

xSabina

x

This blog really needs to come to life again.

I'm sitting here in my room this grey morning in my gym-clothes contemplating on whether I should go to the gym, take a 30-minute power walk or not do anything at all! I'm feeling a bit stressed at the moment as we have to have time to get in to town before 5pm as we're leaving for a wedding party at 5.20pm. But I know that I'll feel a lot less stressed if I exercise. I just need to overcome my inner lazy-ass-self. I really wish I had a PT to scream in my face everytime I come up with a lame excuse not to exercise.

On the photography side of things: this summer has been rather successful I must say. I started the summer with signing a contract with Millennium Images UK, which hasn't led to any sales yet but you never know! The main thing with that was that I got to feel happy about being considered a 'up and coming contemporary photographer'.
After that I received an email from Artists Wanted who wanted to publish one of my photos in their upcoming publication 'Art Takes Times Square', as a follow-up from a competition they held earlier this year; my work was also shown in their exhibition on Times Square which was pretty cool!
In conjunction with that I got another offer to be published in I.C.A Publishing's 5th volume of 'International Contemporary Artists' - I sent them a few photos that I would like to feature in the book, and they got accepted! Here's what my spread will look when the book comes out this November:


And the latest achievement was to be chosen as one of 14 contestants from a few hundred submissions to compete for a place in the finals of 'The Next Artspace Artist'. I ranked 8th in the end with 129 votes - pretty cool!! 


I am now also competing for a $10,000 grant and a Solo Exhibition at SCOPE Miami in Artists Wanted's latest competition 'Art Takes Miami'. Who wouldn't want that?! I'm also collecting votes for the People's Choice Awards, so make sure that you go in and have a look at my work and click vote :) http://sabinahannila2.see.me/atm2012

That's pretty much it. Now all I'm doing is trying to live as healthy and active as possible, and waiting for my final year of uni to start. I'm living in Devon this semester and will be commuting up to Surrey when I have to be in for lectures and workshops, and I'm a little bit worried about how that will work out... I'm sure it'll be fine, I just don't want to stress as much as I did last year.

So I should probably go to the gym now shouldn't I? To push myself a little bit. OR, take a power walk in to town and back?! There's a LOT of uphills on the way there, so I'm bound to get my heart rate up. That sounds like a much more time-efficent plan. And next time wake up earlier so that I have time to go to the gym without feeling stressed.
I know I'm going to be disappointed with myself, BUT, my PT ordered me to have at least 1-2 rest-days a week. So maybe I shouldn't feel so guilty.... AH, see ya later!

Friday, 7 September 2012

Art Takes Miami

Sabina Hannila

The above link takes you to my portfolio-entry for Artists Wanted's latest competition 'Art Takes Miami' ; I would appreciate it if you could spare a few seconds to click it, click 'vote' and then sign in with your Facebook account to give me a chance to win the People's Choice Award :)

Saturday, 18 August 2012

x

it's the end of summer and as usual I feel anxious and nervous about starting a new year at uni. this is the final year though, so this will be the last time i'll feel like this. it's a bit stupid because i know that everything will be alright as soon as i set foot in the lecture hall, but i'm always worried about meeting everyone again - don't ask me why! (because i have no idea).

i've been feeling a bit lost throughout the whole summer, mostly because of some changes in my social life that needed to be done. i haven't been very happy in myself or with my life recently, and i figured out that some changes were necessary. it was very hard and i've felt so low about it (and still do), but i know that it will benefit me in the long run.

this time in my life is very confusing anyway, since i have to start thinking about my future and what i want to do and so on. what i definitely need to do is to work on my social skills. i SUCK at it. i don't know how to approach people, and i'm scared that everything i say will sound horrible and i'm just an overall insecure person. and that isn't a quality i want to get stuck in for the rest of my life! even though i suck at being social i need to have a social life to be happy. i also need a lot of time to myself. some people don't understand that which makes it harder for me to work towards a lifestyle that i need for myself.

health and well-being is something that has been a big priority for me this summer. i'm working with a lot of yoga and raw food-ideas to keep my body and mind balanced. it has also helped me understand that we all have bad days and will feel like i do now at some point throughout our lives. you just need to stick through it and keep moving.

hard work. but i will make it. i want to graduate next year and feel good about myself and knowing that i'll have a few good friends from it as well.

here are some instagram photos from my life over the summer:

                       






Friday, 6 July 2012

Dawlish Warren (and the old Pirate caves) and Millennium Images

I haven't posted here since January, but I decided that I'll start again, just so that I have somewhere else to post my photo-series rather than on Facebook! (And I'm also planning on linking this blog to my portfolio at some point).

Me and T have now moved out from our mouse/mould/ant/spider-infested and non-insulated flat in Guildford and are temporarily residing at his dad's house in Exeter. Devon is a lovely place and I always feel inspired when I'm here; I wake up to the sound of seagulls and the fresh smell of the sea every morning, and they serve the best coffee ever down by the river.
What inspires me most is that I can walk around here and always find something new and interesting - I am constantly finding new places to photograph, and it's like my photographic eye resets itself and sees the world in a whole other way.



When we were here in May we went over to Exmouth to take a walk on the beach, and I came home with a lovely set of images that now have been accepted to be sold onto companies and organisations worldwide by Millennium Images (along with 26 other photographs of mine). This is so amazing, and I'm so happy to now have signed a three-year contract with them!




Because I love the sea so much, and because T knows of this amazing place called Dawlish Warren just 10 minutes from Exeter, we decided to take the train over there today for a small hike and some photos. It was a beautiful walk along the sea side, and we had to hurry to get to the other side of the walk so that we wouldn't get swallowed by the tide!
We went up this old rock with underwater caves, that Pirates and smugglers used back in the days! It was so cool and fascinating, and we decided to go on a roadtrip in the future around Devon and Cornwall to have a look at all the old Pirate rocks :)













Other than that, I am very happy about going back home to Sweden next saturday! I haven't been home in a year and a half, so it's about time. Me and T will be staying there for about 5 weeks, and it's going to be amazing! I've also taken up my exercising again which feels very good, and I must say that iPhone apps is the best thing!!! They give you easy workouts that you can do wherever and whenever, and it's either free or £2 each.. So much cheaper and easier than the gym. Lovelovelove.

xx

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Day 7 & 8 Project 1

Here are yesterday's and today's photos, as I was working all day yesterday and went straight home to Bianca and Chris after work with Thom for some wine and to watch a 2012-documentary. We had such a great time and I even got to see Bianca tap-dance :O !!! She's SO good at it. We took a taxi home, and the taxi driver had some SUPER sour sweets that he gave us.. DISGUSTING! He laughed his ass off at my facil-expressions..

I took no photos whilst being at B's, but I took some detail-photos of our flat and a couple of portraits of Thom.






Today has been as lazy as a Sunday should be. I love that I no longer work Sundays, I get the time to just relax and do nothing. But tomorrow when my loan comes through I'll go and sign up for the gym, so that in the future I can wake up early and do my Sunday gym-sessions; it'll be good to be back in the gym :)

Me and Thom have plans on moving to Vancouver, Canada after my graduation next year, as it is THE place to be as a film maker and artist. I'm really excited about it, as I can't be in one place too long, and from there we can travel over to America easily.


Friday, 6 January 2012

Day 6 Project 1

I tried a new iPhone app last night called "Relax" and it's basically a relaxation-programme (you know "get aware of your feet, imagine that they are relaxing, move up through your knees and thighs" and so on), when we were in bed and ready to sleep and it really works! I had such a good nights sleep (which I haven't had in AGES) and felt so well-rested and energetic this morning.
I did it today as well while Thom were at the gym, and had a nice little power-nap :)

We went in to town today to take some photos and to just get out. I was planning on doing some 2012-work when i got back home, like updating the blog and read some more in the books I bought over Christmas, but that never happened. So I feel a little disappointed in myself, but I guess I need to allow myself to just relax and do nothing at least one day a week.

Here are today's photos:








it's weird how I, even though i've only lived in guildford for a couple of months, i don't feel that I can be as creative in the town where I live as I can be somewhere new. we always get homeblind of course, and we take 'home' for granted (but sometimes that can also be an advantage for your creativity, if you flip it around), but as I said, i've only lived here for a couple of months, so my "home-creativity" and exploring-phase should still be fresh. Like, when I was in exeter over christmas I felt that everything I was photographing was interesting and relevant, but now when i'm back home my photographs just feels so boring.
I guess it's my urge of moving around and the need to change location often that's playing tricks in the back of my head.. and I guess I should try and take this creativity-drought to my advantage and make something good and interesting from it. if I can.
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