Saturday, 31 July 2010

Oh hello!


Wednesday, 28 July 2010


So many interesting encounters lately.
Weird ones aswell.
But always interesting.
I always see the same stranger (but always
different strangers each day) twice a day.First, when I'm leaving for somewhere,
and then when I'm on my way home.

Dead birds and sofas lying around the streets aswell.

Welcome back.

Tuesday, 27 July 2010


"Although most individuals have some narcissistic traits, high levels of narcissism can manifest themselves as a pathological form as narcissistic personality disorder, whereby the patient overestimates his or her abilities and has an excessive need for admiration and affirmation."

too bad.

Stoners Road on Whore Lane

that's where we live.

Friday, 23 July 2010

A (Swedish) Winter Wonderland

i can smell the sunlight on your skin
they all say "no",
so do I.
sometimes.but my body says "yes".
i need it.

but my sanity can't handle the punches.
you will drive me mad.

wild strawberries

Thursday, 22 July 2010

i hate life sometimes.

and sometimes I love it.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

people are just people

but i'm getting well tired of the only thing we, as humans, have in common:

there's always something to say, and we like to talk about it..
a lot!
i just want, an need, one day, one single day, of quiet and peace
when we don't talk about our love life and all the shit that comes
with it.
i need a day when every human being concentrates on themselves
without involving another person.

impossible dreams.

Monday, 19 July 2010


it makes me sad that some of the people I have around me
gets angry with me and laugh in my face when an argument
about racism and xenophobia comes up.
i'm wrong sometimes, and I know that, I always admit it.

but why do they start an argument with me about these subjects,
when they know what I think of it,
and then gets angry/annoyed when I'm not siding with them?
is it defense?

like when people say "i can honestly say that I could NEVER fall in love with a black person!"
I get a bit confused and irritated when people say that.
of course you have different taste in people,
so do I.
but why say the word "never" when you don't know what's going to
happen in the future?
the other day, we had an argument about this matter.
i got a bit angry, and my words were missunderstood.
in return, the person I had the argument with just laughed at me
and I had to explain what I meant, and in the end give up,
because we were going nowhere.
i felt really embarressed and I still feel a bit anxious.
for what reason?
well, I think it's because I didn't stand my ground.

I cheated on myself.

i want to go back to Edinburgh.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

Monday, 12 July 2010


you are incomplete

incomplete metamorphosis, is a term used to describe the mode of development of certain insects that includes three distinct stages: the egg, nymph, and the adult stage, or imago. These groups go through gradual changes; there is no pupal stage. The nymph often somewhat resemble the adult stage but lacking wings and functional reproductive organs.

Saturday, 10 July 2010

liebe life

i don't know if thinking "there's always someone worse off than me"
is called escaping from your emotions or survival.

i didn't win IdeasTap's and Magnum photos Photographic Award,
"to learn how to lose, that's how you formulate freedom's ultimate conditions." - Bengt Göransson

i'm not Very upset. in fact, i'm more motivated to enter other comeptitions now.
so that's what i'm going to do.


why am I?
he was so nice, he was interested, smart, good taste in music, preferred me instead of an old friend..
and still I was asking my friend:
- why is it always those kind of guys that wants me?

what was I on about?
I can be such an ungrateful bitch sometimes.
it's a good thing though that I know when I've done or said something wrong.
I'm sorry, and I want to thank Lars, our saviour in the night,
for picking me up after I fell with my bike in the middle of the night
because of too much toxic, and for picking Nicole up after she fell
off her bike because she was laughing so hard at me for falling.

good times.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010


this day..
so much to look forward to,
to work for.

you're out, i'm in :)

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

fair enough?

you told the (cyber)world about me,
how bad I was,
how mean I was,
how I hurt you,
and how I am not the one for you.

I never said who I meant.

how nice.

you were not a mistake.

the mistake wasn't you.
the mistake I did was to depend on someone else but myself.
that I let someone else take up so much of my time,
even when I didn't want to.
so, you weren't a mistake.
rather someone that teached me alot about myself.
which is a good thing.

fun? love? sex? fallacy?

it is strange how we either
or have sex.
it's never something in between,or something less negative than hate.

Monday, 5 July 2010


we were nothing.

Sunday, 4 July 2010

okey, Xenophobia

Sverigedeomkraterna (Sweden Democrats) are very
particular with the difference between "racism" and
"xenophobia" (like someone else i know),
because they want the angry, and confused youth of
Sweden to vote for them.
and they wouldn't if they called themselves "The Swedish Racist Democrats".

I have difficulties with parting the two words,
because their underlying meaning is essentially the
same: racists/nazis are afraid of what's different from them,
and can't bear the thought of people with different ethnic
backgrounds or a different skin colour (or sexual bent for
that matter) to speak their mind, eat our food,
live in our country, or even something as simple as
having the right to live.. To walk on this earth!

and that is what xenophobia is all about - fear!

the funny thing about racists and nazis is that they would
never confess their fear..
they like the simple explanation "hatred". just hate.
and then they throw in a few "bigger" words like social-welfare,
and joblessness.
if you stop hating so much, and actually got off your
high, LAZY, horses, and went down to the closest job centre to
actually look for a job,
your life would get much better and so the social welfare.

so, all you xenophobic people out there..
don't fear the unknown,
be curious and explore,
and you will learn so much more about the people around you
and yourself.

black butterflies

i've just re-lived my first uni year
in pictures.
i'm making a year book filled with memories.
going through all the thousands of
images i've been taking since September 2009
has made me nervous,
and right now i have 3939873 black butterflies
flying around inside of me,
making me sick.
but happy aswell. happy about myself.
i look at all the people i've met throughout the year,
and i look at myself and i see how much i've changed.
how much stronger i am now.

i get to start fresh this september, and i will.
i miss England and the life i've created there.
i miss the person i am when i'm there.

and i need to make a promise to myself:not to let Anyone stand in my way.
i need to remember that I can't be with someone
as long as I don't know who I am.
i made a mistake last year, something i don't want to
do again.
if it doesn't feel 100% right straight away that is.

give me fire.

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Not all those who wander are lost.

I just read a very inspiring blogpost by a very talented, young lady.
She said:
"i've learnt to not tie myself to anyone or anything. things have become simpler. i don't spend time thinking about what i don't have or who isn't here, but what i do have and who is here. divide time up into moments, into little boxes of life. and only think about what is in my current box. everything else falls away and i feel connected to everything."

that's my new summer mission.
i don't want to be tied to anyone but myself.

repeat after me: i am free..
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