Sunday, 20 March 2011

76

Woke up at 5am to do a test shoot for my self-directed project. Thom was kind enough to help me out :))
This is basically how the final prints will look like, minus the clothes (model's will only wear jeans, and a wig so that no personal features are visible) and i'm going to find another chair to use. The models's backs will be facing the camera as well, so you won't know who the model is.

I had my tutorial a few hours later, and it went well - it helped me sort out some problems i've had with this project. Did research after that, and in the evening I helped out Thom and the 'Dear Ana' crew to sell raffle tickets at the SU.

EXHAUSTED when we came back home!

75


I don't have ANYTHING exciting to say about today, so instead I'll show you a photo of the most important person in my life :)))

74

I really suck at this. Blogging I mean. But at least I've been taking photos everyday. I'm just too busy to upload them and sit down and write.

Anyway, this day me and Ozzie had a well-deserved wine night. We finished off two bottles of red wine and i-don't-know-how-many-hours of talking.
it was nice, we don't do that very often anymore.

we got nostalgic and talked about last year when we lived on campus and had Lady Gaga-nights ALL the time, when we used to sing, drink and look at fat hairy men at Chat Roulette.. Good times.
It's funny that we live in the same house this year, but still we see eachother less than we did last year when we didn't live together.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

73

Only I and T knows what this symbolize, and I won't tell you what, but it's of great importance to me and says alot about us and humanity overall.

I am so tired at the moment (as usual) and get even more tired when I look inside my journal and see how much it is that I need to do before the end of this semester. GOSH!

I like being busy, but it would be nice to get some time to breathe :)

I need a job. Desperately. I've applied for a couple in Guildford, and will hand in some CV's tomorrow as well - hopefully I'll get one of them before summer! Need a job over the summer as well, so I can afford to go home for a week or two.

Monday, 14 March 2011

72


Spring is here, and it's lovely! :)

That's all I have to say today really. I love all the colours everywhere, and as soon as the sun comes out I'm like a totally different person - so happy and bubbly! Sun, please come out more.

Sunday, 13 March 2011

71

Fun times in the tube.

Had a brilliant night out in London!
Went in for 5pm to meet Thom at Waterloo. Then went off to Covent Garden and 'Foundation' to meet the 'Dear Ana' crew (Dear Ana is a film directed by Kayleigh Carroll, produced by Thomas Northrop and Sofia Lahmann and it's about anorexia. You all shoul click this link and donate. $2 is all you need to give - every penny counts!).

They were supposed to meet with the woman who gave them permission to have a fundraising event at 'Foundation' , but she wasn't there and none seemed to know who she was. Very strange and bizarre, but I suppose that you'll come across these things all the time when you work in the industry.
We got a free bottle of wine nonetheless, and then we moved on - the Fundraising event that turned into a pub crawl.

I had lots of fun (finally we got our night out in London that we've been talking about so long!) but got teally tired and emotional at the end of it, hehe.

70

What a day this was.
I knew that something was coming, I haven't been in the best mood this week.
And it all came down like a bomb today. Or I just felt so tired and stressed that it seemed more serious than it really was.
But it kept me in a bad mood for hours nevertheless.

Had a good workout with Nicole and a nice dinner & movie at hers <3
It's weird how we never see eachother anymore.. We need to change that!

69

Someone left their jacket.


Sorry for the lack of updates, but Thom has had my camera and USB cable for a few days (he's using it to shoot a documentary), but now I'm back on track!

This wasn't a very exciting day. This whole week has been like a black hole, and it has just drained me completely; it's like my whole body's feeling that something is happening.
I did have a successful tutorial though, but not a very successful workshop - I didn't know where the room was and I didn't see anyone from my group so I went home, haha.

And that's that!

Thursday, 10 March 2011

68


Didn't go into uni today - I was just too tired for it. SO exhausted from yesterday. But feel a little bit better now. Maybe I'm on my way to get ill again? I hope not.
I had a breakthrough in my research today which feels great!

Had a coffee with Thom which is always nice, and then we went home to "our" bed as he so lovely now calls His bed :)))) Did work up 'til now, and now I need to sleep.

And these blogposts need to be SO much more entertaining.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

67

From today's workshop - happy faces!

So, as I mentioned in the earlier blogpost, it has been a sunny and worm and lovely day! Came in to uni early, was a biiiiit reluctant towards this workshop, but it turned out to be really good (even though I skipped the afternoon session; I'm going to rent a camera out and try it out myself instead. We're way to many people in our class for everyone to have a proper go).

My mood was still up by lunchtime and I was looking forward to leaving for the gym. But as I sat in the digital scanning room talking to B&B I got this very strong feeling of sadness coming over me. It hit me so hard and SO fast. My mood came down to zero and I'm totally drained at the moment!
Something is taking all of my energy from me, and something is making me sad. But I have no idea why?!?!

I managed to do some sketchbook work tonight though, but I'm not sure if I'm going in to uni tomorrow. I feel so tired and sad at the moment so I don't know if it's worth it. Something is wrong.

6th sence? Or something like it?

Well I don't know what it is, but it's starting to get on my nerves..
I was in a REALLY good mood today: sun was shining, you can smell spring and summer
in the air, flowers and greens everywhere.. We had a great large format camera workshop as well.

And then, from NOWHERE, this strong feeling came over me and I got so sad. It all happened very quick and I've been having this strange, strong sensation of sadness since.
I don't know where it came from, I don't know why I'm feeling sad, because I certainly don't have a reason to be.

I read somewhere a few months ago that some people are very sensitive to other people's feelings. If they walk in to a room with lots of people in it, they automatically adapt all of the feelings there and the strongest one stands out, and this sensitive person feels it just as strong as the "original host".

If I'm one of them.. Cool. BUT, annoying.

Monday, 7 March 2011

66


Photographer Jo Longhurst ( http://www.jolonghurst.com/docs/projects_list.php ) was today's lectures guest artist for our new project "Cultures of Nature". She inspired us with her amazing photographs and research about Man and Dog - a very intelligent woman.

A sunny day - sunglasses on!!! Was about to fall asleep in class this morning but woke up in time for Jo's talk (luckily!).
Skipped the afternoon session and did some research in the library instead. I then went home and have been working on my Self Directed since then. Not a very eventful day, BUT, I am starting another blog with updates on my Self Directed project which I will link to later. It's sort of like a diary, but not at all like this blog.

FIN Oslo

L

it's interesting, fascinating, and quite worrying at times, how love gives you the energy to do what you need to do.
and how it also drags you down to the deepest of darkness and prevents you from doing what you need to do.

a simple text just made me forget my hunger, hangover, sleep deprivation and stress.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

65

Pancake Cake :D

So, a year older. And a year... Wiser?
Yeah, probably. After looking back a few years tonight I realised that I have changed a lot.
It doesn't feel like it, sometimes I think that I'm still 15..
It has been a good day, after all.
It didn't have a great start, but sometimes things gets mistaken and it doesn't always go as planned.
I did have an awesome lunch at Slug & Lettuce though, a nice coffee break and 20 minutes of sauna after that.
We then went back home for a nap and some pancake cake, and then off to the Albion for a couple of pints and a nice chat.

I am, btw, overwhelmed by all of the birthday wishes I've got today! Amazing. And I love THOMAS NORTHROP so much it's insane :)

Got a call from my dear aunt and grandmother today as well. It was nice. I think I miss home. Even Thom pointed out today that I've been speaking about Sweden quite a lot in the past few weeks. I haven't noticed, but I felt it today, Hencethe bad start, I think.

But thanks for a lovely 23rd birthday, I hope next year will be as amazing :)

Saturday, 5 March 2011

64

"You smell of weed."
"Weed? That's weird, because I had a dream last night that we were smoking a lot of weed. It was red."


It's good to have you back<3
I was planning on waking up early this morning so I would have the whole day to do work. And I did wake up early, but fell back to sleep again. It's weird, because I knew that Thom would be back in Farnham around 8.30 this morning, and without setting the alarm and not having my phone on I still woke up at 8.29. I think it's quite fascinating how the mind/body can, subconciously, know what time it is.
I was awake until he got back, and then fell back asleep again. I guess I still have to get used to, or allowing myself to, sleep in during the weekends without getting stressed over work.

I'm going to try to work for a few hours non stop and then meet up with Ozzie for a session at the gym.
Happy Saturday (It's my birthday tomorrow!!)

63

I had SO much fun last night! Probably because I finally gave myself permission to actually let go and have fun for once.
Wasen't that much fun to wake up today though.. A banging headache and I was freezing. Thom left early this morning so I had no one there to warm me up either. Anyway, I stayed in bed until 6pm when I went next door for pizza and movie-watching with Ozzie.

It was a chilled and relaxed day, but I NEVER want to be this hungover again. I wasted the whole day on doing nothing, when I could've done work.
But it's nice to have those days as well :)

Friday, 4 March 2011

62

A day late again, haha, I'm so bad at this! But didn't have any time yesterday to blog.. I was working from home with my Self Directed project. I'm getting really in to it, which is good. It's going to take up so much of my time though, and I have 2 other projects to do plus my personal ones and social life.. I'm going to have to be awake for 6 weeks straight. Or, that's how it feels anyway.

We had a quick session at the gym and then went back home to get ready for the SU. Happy thursday!

Thursday, 3 March 2011

61

Trying out the uni's neg scanner for the first time - it's like magic!

A day late with this blog post (again!) but oh well. Yesterday was fun, and with the risk of sounding like a HUGE nerd, I have to say that the excitement and happiness I feel everytime the developed negative comes out from the C-41 machine is.. Amazing!!! I think this is because it feels like something homemade.. You have done everything yourself, and when the result is good.. That feeling is better than everything good in this world (almost).

We then went on to try the neg scanners for the first time, and those are just pure magic. We did almost break one of them though (ooops) but it survived (thank god!).

After that I went to the gym to sweat out some bad energy to give space for some creative thinking. And you know what? It worked! When I came back home I started to write the brief for my Self Directed project, and I got the best ideas ever and if everything goes as planned this project is going to be awesome!

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

60

Had my City Project review today, and it went really good! Got some good feedback and comments, so I'm happy.
Went to the gym for the first time in ages today, and I feel that I'm gonna be very sore tomorrow. But it's good, I'm gonna start to go regularly again now.

Nicole came over to my house and we watched the film 'Little Miss Sunshine'. Such a good film! (Have to remember the name 'Turtletaube').

59


Books and research and work and research. That's what my days are like at the moment. I feel as if I have no time for anything else. Had my deadline for the City Project this day. Review tomorrow.

58

Bye Exeter, I hope I'll see you soon. We got invited to come again in the summer, to my excitement. I think I would love it there in the summer.

The train journey back was sooooooooo long, and it didn't help that 2 VERY annoying kids came and sat next to us for the last hour. Or, one of them switched places with Thom so she could sit next to the window, and the guy sat beside me on the outside. So they were talking across us. Very loudly about their dark minds and mental instability. But, how annoying it might've been, it was very interesting to listen to so I had to record some of their conversation. It's on my iphone. Might post it on a later date.

Thom turned 23 this day. I wish I could've given him something special, but it's hard to be a poor arts student nowadays.

57

Wake up to the sound of the rain. Fall back asleep. Wake up two hours later to the warmth of the sun. Go for lunch at Thoms' mum's. Walk around Exeter in the sun. It's too warm for a jacket in the sun. Drink coffee. Walk around some more in a big garden. Go to an antique shop. Found a lovely old bird cage. It was too expensive. Have a coffee in the sun. Watch the swans. Loving Exeter. Go back home. Do some work. Get ready for dinner. Go to Exmouth. Meet up with the family. Eat a lovely dinner. Surprise cake. Family photos. Free cocktail. American diner. Go back home. Finish off the beers. Serious talks. Love. Sleep.

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

56

on the train down to Exeter. That little girl was the cutest ever, and brought many smiles to me and Thom.

This morning was the worst morning I've had in a long time.
Nothing seemed right and I couldn't stop crying.
I was worried about myself, and just as I was about to leave, T kissed my forehead and said that we will go down to Exeter, relax and have a good time.
Which was exactly what I needed.

The train journey was long, and I forgot my Swedish tobacco in Farnham.. Panic!! But I survived (haha, yes, I have a VERY addictive personality). Did some research for my City project and it was all good.

When we finally arrived in Exeter it was dark and very windy, but I could smell the sea and I instantly felt like I was home. And that feeling never escaped me during the whole weekend.
Met Thom's dad for the first time, which of course made me very nervous and shy (I didn't want to make a bad impression), but he was easy to talk to and very interesting so it was all fine.
We got some beer (by 'some' I mean about 30 bottles of it) and went back to their house.
The house is amazing and very cosy with a fireplace, a piano, spacey rooms and a double bed (!!!!!) in Thoms' room.. Amazing.

Thoms' dad made us dinner, he then left and Thoms' mate came over. All we did really was drinking beer, talking, playing cards and we also watched the film "Devil" which was... Interesting.

I love Exeter.

55

from our "How to Research" workshop - my idea or theme for our Self Directed project is about identity, and will (hopefully) end up in a study about the differences between male and female thinking.

Holy crap!!! I'm SOOOO behind on blogging.. Sorry about that, but I have been ridiculusly busy with uni work, personal work and life..
But I promised myself to take some time off everyday to blog my 365 project and write stuff down for myself.. I have been taking photos, I just haven't had time to blog.
Anyway,

this day I woke up feeling really happy! The sun was shining, I had had a good night's sleep, and I was gonna go to Exeter the day after with Thom to meet his family and celebrate his 23rd birthday.
I had a workshop I had already done (again!) on researching, but actually managed to get something out of it. My mate filled me in on the latest drama in his house, and I have to say that i really don't want anything to do with it anymore - I had enough of it last year!

And then... Reality came back to get me, and money NEVER stops to be a problem for me.. Another one of my housemates is leaving the house, even though we have SO much to sort out, so many bills to pay, money has gone missing, misunderstandings, fights, tears.. It is so stressful, and something we really don't need ATM.

So the rest of that beautiful day turned into hell, so badly that I almost lost a friend and partner all in one day.
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