Sunday, 24 April 2011

red wine and stuff

it is weird how you grow apart, how people stop talking to you like they used to, how we assume things about eachother and how lonely this can make you feel.
sometimes i am content with being a lone wolf who doesn't particularly like to party and dance,
i am someone who favours sitting at home with a couple of friends (or alone) with some red wine and music.

a night like that can keep me going for a couple of weeks,

until loneliness catches up with me and i realise that maybe i should go out more, or maybe i should speak to my friends more;
because i get so caught up with my work that i forget to call my friends or family.
i shut everything and everyone out, because i need the solitude. i can't work if i'm not at peace in my mind.

i guess it is a defense mechanism; as soon as you step out of your room, the world swallows you with all its problems and i can't deal with it if i have something i need to do.

i feel selfish very often. because i'm thinking "how does everyone else manage to stay in touch with all their friends and family all the time, AND manage to work at the same time??"

it's not that hard for many and you might think it is a silly question to ask.. but i am so passionate about my work, and i'm striving to reach my goals which takes so much time.

some of you will understand, but i have people around me that don't. and it makes me feel like a horrible person.
people around me have become strangers to me because of this.

i know it will be OK one day. i guess it is always hard to dream and work to reach your goals. you will always doubt yourself, people will get angry with you because you're working so hard for yourself. which i really don't understand why, hence this rant, but i hope that one day people will understand me and see that i did this for ME.

Monday, 4 April 2011


My 365 project has kind of died out.. Mostly because I have no time to be creative outside of uni and my other personal projects, so the photos that I posted for this project were mostly snapshots of my everyday life - which wasn't my intention.

So, instead I'll try to do 1 creative shoot a MONTH instead and see how that goes.

I do have some new stuff that I want to show you, but I'll do that this weekend or so.
Until then, I'll most likely just blog whenever I feel like it. That works better for me :)
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