Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Something for just ME.

Where in the world can I find a place for myself, that is just mine???!!
I need one SO badly.. Somewhere to retreat to when I feel trapped and confused and when I just want to scream and break down and break away and do all the things I can only do when I'm alone..

Like singing wholeheartedly, or listen to my own music, or cry for no reason, or write down ideas and dreams without being disturbed by a TV or the clicking on a computer keyboard, or someone saying my name..

Before I came to England in 2009, and when I imagened how it would be to go to uni, I saw myself sitting in a attic studio flat with a big skylight where I could sit and do all those things I just mentioned.
And where I could set up my home studio and just create.. All day and all night. It would have its own coffee machine and editing suite and flowers and candles on the floor, and no one could come up there unless I invited them.

Something for just ME.

At the moment it feels like I'm working for everyone else but myself, all the money I earn, all the photos I take, every word I speak are for someone else.

That is NOT a life for me.

Andas, jag vill bara andas.. Ikväll.

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