Sunday, 28 August 2011


I can't wait for uni to start! The new units seem interesting, and I've already begun my research haha!
Me and a girl from work were saying yesterday how our job just makes us.. numb! It doesn't make us think, and is not very inspiring.
And I can really feel how I'm becoming a robot at work, and I'm too tired to do anything creative when I come home.
But I will get on to it! I still have the summer project to do, and I haven't chosen a photo/still/painting to re-create yet!

Friday, 26 August 2011

I am far from free.

I have forgotten everything I used to yearn for..
I used to dream about sitting on the top of a mountain in Scotland and look at the sky and breathe the fresh air,
and go to a live gig with Sigur Rós out in the Icelandic wilderness,
and wake up really early to take in the Swedish sunrise a Midsummer morning again,
and swim naked in a cold spring in the deep Nordic forests,
and take all this inspiration with me and make something fantastic.

But I haven't done anything of the above, and I never dream about things like this
anymore. All it's about now is money, getting good grades, keeping the few close friends I have, arguing with the internet connection or landlord, or finding a job that won't make my life miserable..
None of which inspires me. And this is how it is, day in and day out.

Somedays I just want to say "fuck it!" and stop caring about everything and everyone else and just do what I feel like doing, without caring about the consequences; spend all my money on a trip to anywhere and meet new people and see new places, get a hotel room somewhere and lock myself in it with no means of communication to anyone and write, take photos, and do some amazing artwork, get really drunk on wine and be artificially happy but truly believe in it, sleep how much I want without feeling stressed, never talk about weight and calories again...

I just want to make my art.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

London Calling!

So today me and Thom went into London to pay Tate Modern and the Imperial War Museum a visit.
At the Tate we saw the Diane Arbus exhibition, and her work is always inspiring in the way she portrays people - it's bald and very personal. It amazes me how close she actually got to her subjects.
We also saw 'Photography - New Documentary Forms' which also was interesting and very relevant to all the current political events and riots that's going on in the world.
And luckily for me the exhibition 'Poetry and Dream' ,which is devoted to the greatest surrealists of all time, was still showing. I saw some great paintings by artists I'm currently reading, and it was very inspiring to walk around such amazing art and read about the artists.

At the Imperial War Museum we walked around old army tanks, missiles and submarines, and even got to walk through a old plane! We also saw the Holocaust exhibition which was as sad, sickening and totally unbelievable as you can imagine. They showed a film of one of Hitler's speeches, and he was a VERY powerful man. But as always with men with too much power, they go crazy and abuse it to the fullest - they become insane with power, and see nothing but themselves as worthy. The scariest part of it all is that he truly and devotedly believed that he and his followers were the only people worth walking on this earth. Those who opposed him were vermin that should be dealt with in ways that kept them away forever.

The Imperial War Museum

New Documentary Forms

Diane Arbus (you should all watch the fictional portrait of her and her life. It's a film called "Fur" with Nicole Kidman as Diane).

Poetry and Dream exhibition. 'Sleeping Venus' by Paul Delvaux

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Happy days.

I love living in Guildford. Everything is so close; all the shops, all the restaurants, the train station, London (it only takes 30minutes by train to Waterloo!!). Went shopping yesterday for the first time since last August, and me and Thom are going to go into London tomorrow and first see the Diane Arbus exhibition at Tate Modern (and of course also pay a visit to their exceptional book store) and after that go to the Imperial War Museum. It will be a good day :)

We are keeping ourselves entertained the best we can as we still haven't got any Internet in our flat, and I have to admit that I think it's lovely! We've got so much done, and I feel more creative now than what I've felt in months! I'm currently reading a lot about Surrealism as it has always interested me, and my personal work always tend to be a bit surrealistic, just to have a reference for my future uni work. I'm also reading Freud's Dream Psychology, and it ties in a lot with Surrealism.

I'm preparing as much as possible for uni now, I can't wait to get all the new briefs and get busy creating again!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, 9 August 2011


It's time for some severe bridge burning.
I am DEAD tired of having to think about others before myself - it will all end now. It always seems ok for others to go about their business and do what they need to do, even if it means to sacrifice some social time. But not for me. I seem to be the shittiest friend if I do that.

It is true that I have not been very social for the last year, but I have a few GOOD reasons for that:
- University. Enough said really. It takes TIME. Especially if you're serious about it.
- No money. I lived off a student loan which I had to pay tuition fees, rent, bills and food with. I lived off my credit card for a while because I didn't have any money. I had to borrow a lot of money from my family to be able to survive, until I got a job.
- I work all the time to be able to survive.
- I have personal projects I need to sort out, because, it's what I do! Photography is my passion and it's what I love for.
And people get annoyed because I can't go out every week, or be around all the time. I prioritize my work because I plan on living off it in the future.

But I'm always there if people need to talk. I listen and I try to help. And I put off as much time as I can and have the energy to. And still people pester me about it.
I really don't have any energy left... I'm going to do what I want and need to, and I hope that people will start to understand that I don't do it to be mean, I do it because I have to and because I want to.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Dreamhost Promo Code